Getting Older: January 7th, 2012

Event: Anna’s party

Outfit: Striped tee  & skirt: Gap; Boots: Diba; Vest: H&M; Necklace: stella & dot

Headed over to my parents’ to attend Ms. Anna Hart’s 22nd birthday party tonight! Anna always puts out a great spread, so I arrived with my appetite (and a couple of goodies I made today) + my photo booth props, as requested by the lady of the hour. Enjoyed a nice night of delicious snacks (highlights for me: honey goat cheese & chocolate stout cake) and Catchphrase with Anna’s friends. Typing this with a very full belly.

I’ve never had a “getting old” freakout. 25 held zero anxiety for me. I truly felt I was exactly where I wanted to be in life, and excited about the future. Master’s degree, living in a city, in a loving relationship, engaged, pretty decided on living abroad for a year or two, trying for kids around thirty. Leaving the rest a mystery for now.

Now? I won’t say I want to be 22 again. I have no desire to relive grad school. I’m glad I’m a financially independent adult. But I do envy that state of being about to start your “real” life with a relatively clean slate. And…no…I’m no longer in that “happy place”.  I never was someone who cared about being married young, so that in of itself isn’t really an issue. But, yep, I kind of felt like I had the big parts of my life figured out. While I care very much about my job…I’m not particularly ambitious. Life for me has never been about moving up the career ladder or making a lot of money. I was much more interested in building my life with my partner (once I thought I had found him). So…that’s a hard adjustment.

25 and single? I can get my head around that. It’s feeling that the life I truly wanted (and, yes, still want) was pulled out from under me that is really challenging. Hearing my sister’s graduation is on my birthday this year? Normally might bum me out a little (I am so selfish and obsessed with birthdays). But this year? I’ll admit that it’s hard to picture being nearly as excited to celebrate. Am all for having the focus elsewhere.

Whole new life. I know, logically, that I still have things to be proud of and happy about. But it’s hard not to think about the other stuff. Last year Adam met my family out for Anna’s birthday dinner and I remember thinking how proud I was that he was my guy; that we were us. That he would drive down from MKE on a work night to eat Japanese food and participate as the chef made us all catch broccoli in our mouths. That he’d teach me to use chop sticks (though I was horrible) and celebrate my sister’s birthday. That we were continuing to turn our families into one.

Sigh. I really will work on fewer long-winded, blabbering blog posts. They just seem to be hard to resist after 1am. Willpower, self. Willpower.

Pretty birthday  lady (in a faux-fur vest I’m totally envying), blowing out the candles!

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~ by Elena Marie on January 8, 2012.

7 Responses to “Getting Older: January 7th, 2012”

  1. I am loving that skirt. The color is beautiful and it looks so comfy! I hope Anna had a great birthday!!

  2. First of all you look great and I love that little speech bubble chalk board. Second, I think any major life altering event will always cause you to look back and reflect on the past and make you want to start over or go back and re-do something from your past. Clearly you are a very strong and motivated person because you’re still ambitious and focused on the positive. You also got a lot of awesome food which I’m totally jealous of.

  3. You look so cute, and I’m totally jealous of the food! Chocolate stout cake – send me a piece please!!!

    I think what you’re feeling is totally normal for a woman who’s had the rugged pulled out from underneath her. The reality is, we never know what life has in store for us, and can only live in the moment (I know, easier said than done). Who knows that would have happened if you stayed together and who knows what life has in store for you now! 25 is *so* young – you’ve got a lot of living ahead of you!

  4. Life is a journey. There is no set timeline for events. 25 and single is awesome!! Enjoy one day at a time, appreciate the small stuff and don’t look back unless reviewing how much you have changed/grown!! 😉

  5. love your outfit and thanks for the shout out 😀

  6. I feel so lame because I haven’t read your blog in a few months and got caught up a few days ago (not that you were missing my rare comments or anything). Anyway, I’m horrible at saying stuff when people are going through things but I’m glad to see you have a support system in your family and friends and other followers and I know we’re all rooting for you and know that you’ll feel like your life is the one you dreamed of someday soon. Right now you’re in the thick of it but I can tell you’ve got your head on straight. I agree with commenter Chrissy B. for the most part. Life is pretty crazy and thus far very little (for my part) has gone the way I thought it would or how I planned. It may be hard to see, but something better is in store for you down the road. Truly there is. I can’t wait to see what it might be for you. Sorry about the super-long comment – I won’t be offended if you delete it. Anyway it looks like you guys had a nice celebration… and that looks like a scrumptious cake!

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